an old married couple
by Alan wannabe
Summary: Alan and Denny review their love and together find a new place for it to go!


An Old Married Couple (slash)

Denny was 82, portly, and personified the cranky old man, and as he sat on his and Alan's (now) balcony watching 9-10 years old boys playing at soccer. He yelled out, "Hey, your dog doesn't have to dig-up my lawn for you to have a game."

"Old Man Crazy Head" the boys taunted.

"Rug rat annoyances!" called back Denny Crane strongly.

"You sound in a hearty strong voice today, my luv!" Alan smiled as he walked out onto their balcony.

"Hey pretty old boy!" the kids chanted.

"Are you in a mood to be verbally harrassed?" Denny asked Alan, turning to look at his recently returned mate. " And how are the simple folks' law cases?"

Alan sat down in the chair near Denny and took his hand, giving it a squeeze, "Oh, Denny, it's making me nuts! My hat is off to every secretarial aid or law clerk who ever made our life easier!Typing everything I need to present, and their remembering everything we ever told them we needed done...I can hardly remember all the things I need to get done, myself. 63 is not 25!"

"Nor is it 80something or other!" Denny moaned.

"And researching everything on basic computers with no frills or search aids! The library of law books in the office are not anything about which to brag, either.. I need to go to the public library for any reading I need to do. Even their computers are better than ours."

Denny asked as unassumingly as he could, "Need some updated computers donated?"

"Our R&D people can give you the specifics."

"But Denny, lover, you don't need to be subsidizing my passion!"

"Sit closer,, Old Pretty Boy. Here's your scotch, Want me to bite the tip off of your cigar for you, too?" Denny tapped his front with a fingernail. "All mine are still the originals, you know!"

"Go ahead and gloat, you dentally conscience old bag!" Alan smiled at him. "I guess you thought you had to keep something in good shape! Your bite and tongue as well are remarkable. I do so enjoy your bites!"

"That is reciprocated, Mr. Shore/Crane!"

Alan leaned across the gap between their chairs and kissed Denny long and deep and hard, pulling him closer by his hand. "Oh, I hope that's not a bad influence on the children" he scoffed.

Denny shook his head negatively. "Well, if it is, it must be an influence they envy, as much as they are over here, and never failing to get a good look. At least they have the manners not to interrupt!"

"Denny, I've been curious about something for a long time now..."

Denny inclined his enormous head toward Alan attentively. "Ask, Old Pretty One!"

"Why in the first 4 - 5 years at Crane, Poole, and Schmidt, I chased you and you ran! Then you asked me to marry you at least three times!"

"Yeah, I wondered why it took you so long to say 'yes'."

"I had grown accustomed to being rejected, and I just couldn't believe you were serious."

"Alan, I never really rejected you, I rejected the kissing I was afraid you were expecting!"

"As well as I had grown to knowing what your priorities were?"then Alan asked with a smirk, "See what you were missing?"

Denny sat contemplating the question. "Well, I must say now that I know your canine talents I no longer fear your biting off the tip of my cigar!"

"Or anything else, I hope," Alan smiled, lascivi·ously.

"No, you have often bragged how talented you tongue is, and I must admit, you never overstated it!" Denny looked a bit salacious himself. He stood with great effort and pulled Alan up with him., heading for the bedroom.

"Don't you want me to make some spaghetti for you, like you requested last night?"

"Oh, that takes too long. I have been sitting here anticipating your arrival all afternoon. Dulls the stomach's appetite! Unless you need to eat?"

"Look at my belly, do I look like I need food or a work-out?"

"That's my boy! And you will get one, too! Then tell me if I deserve to be called "Old Crazy Head?"

"Is that what those no class kids called you? I would never call one of your heads crazy, especially when it wants my mouth to demonstrate its talent."

Denny laughed heartily and guided Alan upstairs. "Don't ever let anyone tell you that old men don't get horny!"

"I'm testimony to that, luv! Even if we are just imagining it!"

"Even at 63?"

"Hey, I'm not 83, you know, and if it comes to that I have you for a role model. I always feared running out of libido!"

"Men don't do that," Denny corrected, "Women run out because they run out of estrogen. And although men often in their later years run short on testosterone, a man can find a doctor almost any where to give him supplemental testosterone! He may run out of the energy and musculature to use it efficiently, but with an inventive lover, that doesn't have to stop him!"

"Denny, you have an answer for everything!" Alan exulted. "Maybe just because I want to believe you so much it only seems so!"

"Hey,. All those years I seemed to be sleeping during meetings, I was just cogitating on more useful information. And storing it away to pass on to an inventive lover!"

Alan proved himself to be very inventive that evening. he even tried some things he had only read about or heard about, all of which Denny seemed to approve. He took his first inspiration from Alan and Denny's very sensual tangos. When that heated them both up sufficiently, he tried rimming Denny which he had not ever been sure that Denny was ready for. As it turned out, he was more than ready!

"Ah that last maneuver was a new one, you hold-out!"

"I take it you found it acceptable." Denny only moaned loudly in reply.

"I only you had thought of that during our wrestling match, you might not have been defeated by my sitting on your face!"

"There was the matter of your clothing smushing my face!" Alan pleaded in ignorance and as an excuse for not knowing all the skills and strategy if love-making at the age of 40.

"I can only think of one way for some one to gain knowledge in certain fields, when he is in a monogamous relationship!" Denny lamented.

"No, you think wrong. The news stand at the bottom of our building has a blue section, which I only discovered the other day, after noticing a preponderence of young me assembled there. Wonderful discovery that I at one time would have feared a professional man being found browsing there!"

"Okay, but Alzheimer's and mad cow is enough, I'm too old to start suffering from AIDS!"

"Never fear, Denny, you are in no danger, unless you start picking up male hustlers when you feel lonely."

"One pervert is enough for me!" he said purposefully. and with pointed meaning. "And one more thing: About why I had to ask you so often to marry me. Have you forgotten the circumstances...I had climbed into my female neighbor's bed naked at Christmas time and I feared that my fraction of a mind was declining rapidly, and that you could be subpenaed and either comply or go to prison, and that you (we) could only be protected by spousal privilege.

"Hey", smiled Alan with real joy."You predicted it. A new television series, on a new network,one that cares! Fan fiction!"

"We live on!"


End file.
